Musicians jokes

A professor buys a house in a nice part of town. He decides a good way to get to know the neighbors is by throwing a house party and inquiring about their IQ's so as to strike up a relatable conversation with his guests.

On the night of the party, the first person knocks on the door. The professor opens the door and greets them with, "I'm professor so-and-so, welcome to my home. If you don't mind my asking, what is your IQ?".

"120", the guest replies.

"Amazing! Let's talk a little about relativity", says the professor, and they go inside.

A short time later another knock at the door; "I'm professor so-and-so, welcome to my home. If you don't mind my asking, what is your IQ?".

"95", the guest responds.

"Wonderful! What is your favorite philosopher?", asks the professor, and they go inside.

A third guest arrives late and knocks on the door uneven and awkwardly. The professor opens the front door; "I'm professor so-and-so, welcome to my home. If you don't mind my asking, what is your IQ?".

The guest pauses and looks confused for a moment. "I don't know, maybe 20?"

"Great! What kind of drum sticks do you use?"

What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?

Nobody cries when you cut a banjo in half.

Where's the safest place to hide your valuables?

In an accordion case.

What's the difference between god and a conductor?

God doesn't think he's a conductor.

What's the difference between a conductor and a stagecoach driver?

The stagecoach driver only has to look at 4 horses asses.

Quote from paults

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

Six - one to change it, and the other five to stand there with their arms folded, saying they could do it better.

One of my favorites. The other punch line I like is, "None, they just steal somebody else's light".