Musicians jokes

Quote from paults

LOL! And, you did the opposite here - the first joke was about a bass player

And the second one is about musician, so what's wrong?

How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five, one to change it and four to sing about how good the old one was.

In which German car model you can find most often Kemper player driving?

In Golf Have a good night!

This thread is amazing...
Credit to 9gag:

"Ill be bach".

Wow, I'm surprised no one's mentioned this one. I've heard this one too many times being on worship teams.

What is the holiest of all chords?

Gsus.

A bass player, a drummer and a musician walk into a bar...

I got a Joke idea this morning, let me know if it's not as funny, as i thought

Two guitarists are having a conversation:
Guitarist 1: "Yesterday i bought the new navigation system by fractal audio!"
Guitarist 2: "Cool, can i test it?"
Guitarist 1: "Sure!"
They get in the car and start driving. Only two blocks away from their destination the system suddenly shuts off.
Guitarist 2: "What the Hell? Why does it stop?"
Guitarist 1: "Well, were 99% there, only the next update will bring us closer!"

(Note: I never played an axe fx, so i can't say anything about the sound-quality ;))

Quote from LH

I got a Joke idea this morning, let me know if it's not as funny, as i thought

(...)

(Note: I never played an axe fx, so i can't say anything about the sound-quality ;))

I think it's a funny little allegory , made me grin. (Not bashing the AXE either, think it's a cool piece of gear.)

Quote from LH

I got a Joke idea this morning, let me know if it's not as funny, as i thought

Two guitarists are having a conversation:
Guitarist 1: "Yesterday i bought the new navigation system by fractal audio!"
Guitarist 2: "Cool, can i test it?"
Guitarist 1: "Sure!"
They get in the car and start driving. Only two blocks away from their destination the system suddenly shuts off.
Guitarist 2: "What the Hell? Why does it stop?"
Guitarist 1: "Well, were 99% there, only the next update will bring us closer!"

(Note: I never played an axe fx, so i can't say anything about the sound-quality ;))

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Seems like they haven't updated to Quantum, they would be 120% there (Not bashing the AXE either, think it's a cool piece of gear)

What's the difference between a Stratocaster and a Banjo?

...The Banjo has more sustain

OK this will be the harder one

A Kemper user switches on the spring reverb.

A drummer walks past a bar...

A guy decides to take bass lessons.

In the first lesson, the teacher shows him the notes on the E-String.
In the second lesson, he shows him the notes on the A-String.
The third lesson gets cancelled by the student, because he has too many gigs.

The structure of songwriting per band member.

Drummer - Intro wikid fills, flams and ghost notes, tons of cymbals. - Verse, More flamming, hit harder, hit more cymbals, chorus, too tired, slow it down.. less hard, softer, Mid8 - Energy raised, SOLO WIKID FILLS, WIKID CYMBALS, Outro, FUCK IT ON A ROLL MORE SOLOS!.

Guitarist, Intro, Nice mellow licks, lead intro, Verse, Fancy Chords, let it ring. - Chorus, Add dirt boost, add cool fancy FX, Jazz hands.. Mid 8, AWESOME Lead SOLO Slash Style WHERE I WILL BESTOW THE ROCK ON YOU!. - IM AM GOD.. - Outro, Mellow shit, fancy stuff, Wah wah till its over. then hi 5 the others for being epic..

Bass Player - Sorry what key we in?

Singer. - Intro, Lots of ADlibs, Screams, and oohs.. Verse. My Time to show who I am, with my rockin vibe. - Chorus, Let it rip, louder, louder.. Mid8, Look cool and hang out.. Outro. waddle, wiggle, dance and generally look a tit. - till the other twats are done".. - Take all the credit for the song when the lights go down and the crowd roars.

Hammond Player - Trem on, Trem off, Trem on, trem on, trem off, trem on, trem sustain.............. and trem off, trem on trem off etc..

Quote from and44

The structure of songwriting per band member.

Drummer - Intro wikid fills, flams and ghost notes, tons of cymbals. - Verse, More flamming, hit harder, hit more cymbals, chorus, too tired, slow it down.. less hard, softer, Mid8 - Energy raised, SOLO WIKID FILLS, WIKID CYMBALS, Outro, FUCK IT ON A ROLL MORE SOLOS!.

Guitarist, Intro, Nice mellow licks, lead intro, Verse, Fancy Chords, let it ring. - Chorus, Add dirt boost, add cool fancy FX, Jazz hands.. Mid 8, AWESOME Lead SOLO Slash Style WHERE I WILL BESTOW THE ROCK ON YOU!. - IM AM GOD.. - Outro, Mellow shit, fancy stuff, Wah wah till its over. then hi 5 the others for being epic..

Bass Player - Sorry what key we in?

Singer. - Intro, Lots of ADlibs, Screams, and oohs.. Verse. My Time to show who I am, with my rockin vibe. - Chorus, Let it rip, louder, louder.. Mid8, Look cool and hang out.. Outro. waddle, wiggle, dance and generally look a tit. - till the other twats are done".. - Take all the credit for the song when the lights go down and the crowd roars.

Hammond Player - Trem on, Trem off, Trem on, trem on, trem off, trem on, trem sustain.............. and trem off, trem on trem off etc..

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post of the year. right there.
very nicely done.

I don't really know how to translate that into english. Maybe someone can help?

Schlagzeuger: "Was ist eigentlich eine Synkope?"
Band: "Deine Eins!!"

How does a bass player's brain-cell die?

Alone!

A pop musician, a rock musician, and a jazz musician talk about their latest album revenues.

Pop musician: I bought me a nice house in Tuscany.
Rock musician: I got me a new yacht.
Jazz musician: Well, I bought this nice sweater.

The others: But what about the rest of the money?
Jazz musician: The rest was supplied by my mum.