What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
It's all in the grip.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
It's all in the grip.
LOL
What do you say to an army officer as you're about to run him or her over with a steam roller?
Be flat, major.
Why was the piano player arrested?
Because he got into treble with the cops
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What do you get when you play country music backwards?
- You get your car, your wife and your dog back!
What do you get when you play new age music back?
- New age music!
When I first heard it 20 years ago, it was:
You get your pickup truck, your wife and your dog back!
Have you heard that one about the guitar player who got in legal trouble? He broke a G string while fingering A minor.
(guess that's an old one, but I always only remember the most obvious ones)
... or the dirtiest by the sound of it! LOL
A "C," an "E-flat," and a "G" go into a bar.
The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat.
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au naturel.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.
What is better than a rose on your piano?
Tulips on your organ
A guy walks into a shop.
"You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a Gibson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose tremulo?"
"You're a drummer, aren't you?"
"Yeah. How'd you know?"
"This is a travel agency."
What's the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
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What's the difference between a jazz guitarist and a rock guitarist?
A rock guitarist plays 3 chords to 1,000 people...