Good discussions here. No place for dogmatic views I'd say as there are certainly many ways to a great performance... and that's what matters, right?
I think it is a mistake to think the drummer is the time keeper. Everyone is the time keeper. All good music has a common pulse that every musician must feel and play.
I like this view because it emphasizes the "team approach" every band should have. No performance will benefit from fighting or competing musicians...
Nevertheless in my experience it is good to have an agreement who "in case of confusion" takes the lead and the responsibility to keep things in shape and/or push or pull the band to where the right tempo is. I like this to be the drummer as for him or her it is easiest to adjust the band's timing. If I do this via guitar there's not much chance I get it sorted and everybody will follow. By the way: My drummer likes it to be in charge for the tempo. So the negotiation / agreement is implicitly done. But good to have it that way and not play with assumptions who'd be doing it.
Finally for the OP: I don't think it is a pro vs. hobby topic. Some music suffers more from bad tempo than other. Many musicians tend to be "too fast" when gigging in front of an excited audience. So why not tackle it? Many ways to adjust this, many have been mentioned above, lots of good ones. My drummer definitely uses a click and let's me know the count in (pretty inaudible and invisible) in case I start the song. Programming a clever delay with the Kemper and kicking one tone, then listening to the delays might be a good way as well...